We've all been there, our patience worn thin, and in the moment we just lose control of our anger. Here's a look at how to control that mom rage so you don't yell at your kids.
Being a mom requires a lot of patience. Learning how to control your anger as a mom can really help for the days you just don't have the patience for ANYTHING.
I've been there many times too...lost my anger by quickly reacting and then almost immediately regretted it. I want my kids to remember me as a patient mom which is why I started learning to control my anger.
Tips to control your temper
1. Don't react right away. When you give yourself a minute or even a moment to take a deep breath you can analyze the situation and react calmly.
It's easy to yell right away, but over time you will learn that yelling shouldn't be your immediate response.
2. Explain your emotions. A lot of times anger is just our frustration for not being able to express how we feel.
The next time your child throws food on the ground or is hitting their brother, calmly tell them how it makes you feel. "That makes mama angry, please don't do that again."
3. Think to yourself..."is it really worth it". Every time you are starting to feel yourself lose control of your anger, ask yourself... "is it really worth it?"
4. Find time for yourself. When you are at your wit's end and everything seems to make you angry, it might be a sign you need some time to yourself. Self-care is so important for moms because we can't pour from an empty cup.
There are definitely times when anger is warranted when you are trying to keep your kids safe, but if they were being silly or goofy you can probably react a little more patient.
How to deal with mom rage?
Growing up, I had a mom who was always angry and quick to yell at a moments notice. I swore I would be a calmer parent...but that was easier said than done.
First, understand what is triggering you. Are you burnt out? Tired? Hungry? Frustrated by the mess?
Then make a plan to stop those triggers from happening.
Common Triggers of Anger and Mom Rage
- Being hungry. If hunger can make you lose your patience, make sure you have some stashed snacks just for you.
- Not having alone time to recharge. As a stay at home mom, you might feel like you never get time to yourself, even to pee. Make time to do things by yourself, your sanity will thank you.
- A house that is always messy. If seeing messes triggers your anger, then start a chore chart or get your kids involved in helping clean. It shouldn't be your job alone to clean.
- Too many questions at once. My kids will often be asking for something at the same time and it's overwhelming when you are trying to listen to one and then the other interrupts. Start setting boundaries about one person talking at a time.
- Lack of help. It's important to ask for help because our to-do lists are at least a mile long on any given day. While I wish my husband could read my mind, I'm learning I need to be more vocal about needing help.
- Financial stress. If you are constantly worried about how much money is in the bank, it's probably time to create a budget.
This is when all the demands of moms becomes so overwhelming that they get very angry.
Make time for yourself, don't skip meals, and find any other triggers that seem to make your rage come out. Then, find solutions with you and your partner.
Ask for help, you shouldn't have to do everything all by yourself. Also make time to do things just for you, whether that's getting your hair done or a weekend away with your spouse.
Remember mamas, no one is perfect. We all get angry, but you can help teach yourself to react more calmly!