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    She's Your Friend » Toddlers & Preschoolers

    Toddler Hitting: How to stop it

    by Joanna Stephens Published: Apr 21, 2020 · Updated: Apr 18, 2022 · This post may contain affiliate links. We earn commission from purchases made. ·

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    a frustrated toddler girl
    an angry toddler learning how to stop hitting
    a frustrated toddler girl

    Is your toddler hitting and acting out more frequently? Are you frustrated and don't know how to stop it? If so, this article will help teach you how to stop your toddler from hitting.

    an unhappy toddler girl wearing bunny ears
    Jump to:
    • Understanding why your toddler is hitting
    • How you can stop your toddler hitting

    Understanding why your toddler is hitting

    Toddlers, while able to vocalize many things, will still have difficulty expressing their emotions. Frustration, among others, can be a reason why your sweet lovable child is beginning to hit.

    Also, take a look at your environment. Has anything changed recently that might make little ones become more stressed?

    Or perhaps your toddler hitting is a reaction to something else (toy getting taken away from them).

    Another possible reason for your toddler hitting could be that they saw it from someone, whether it was on TV, a movie, or another child/adult.

    Understanding the why can help you as a parent to work with your child, and find a better solution.

    How you can stop your toddler hitting

    Now that you understand why, lets move on to what you can do as a parent to help your child.

    1. Let them know they are not allowed to hit

    The best thing you can do when your toddler hits is to calmly tell them it’s not okay to hit. It can be hard to stay calm in the moment, but our children mimic our own behavior.

    That’s why we need to be good role models for staying calm.

    2.Teach your child a more productive way to let off steam

    Secondly, you will want to give your child a few ideas on how to express their frustration or anger that doesn’t involve hitting.

    Some examples can be:

    “If you get angry, ask a grown-up for help”

    “if you get angry, stomp out your anger”

    “If you get angry, walk away to calm down”

    Or if your toddler is a fan of Daniel Tiger, like mine is, remind them “when you feel so mad that you wanna roar, take a deep breath and count to four”.

    The idea is to give them outlets that can help calm them down while not promoting violent behavior.

    This also means watching how you as a parent react to stressful situations, because little eyes are watching you.

    Those same little eyes will mirror the behavior they see.

    3.Consequences for when they don’t listen

    Now, after you have started implementing the first 2 tips, you need to also make it known to your toddler that if they hit again, there will be consequences.

    This lets your toddler know what you expect from them, and additionally what they can expect from you if they do hit. After all, toddlers will try all their limits!

    Some examples of consequences are a time out, taking a favorite toy away, or a last resort can be a spank.

    Spanks should be last resort because this can be rather confusing for a young child. Think of it in their point of view. They aren’t allowed to hit, but you are.

    This will be a topic that is debated quite frequently, but you know your child best. Do what you think will work!

    4.Consistency

    The final step to helping your toddler stop hitting is being consistent. This means consistent about telling them it's not okay to hit.

    It also means being consistent about how you react to situations, but also being consistent about consequences.

    If you threaten a consequence, follow-through or your toddler will learn they can get away with it.

    ________________

    Having a toddler that hits can make you feel like a failure, but don't think that! It's a stage in their life that they will overcome with the right help from you.

    Start off by telling them it's not okay to hit, show them better ways to let off their frustration, and have consequences for hitting.

    I hope this helps get you through the unpleasant stage of toddler hitting. If you enjoyed reading this, please remember to share it! Thanks!!

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Grandma says

      May 08, 2022 at 5:15 pm

      My grandkids do everything the mom does to them and then she does not even recognize herself.
      She says they should stop doing it. But she does. And they copy. 2 and 3 years old.

      Reply
      • She's Your Friend says

        May 09, 2022 at 2:55 pm

        Yeah kids this age, that's what they do. They repeat our behaviors and unfortunately, so many of us grew up with spanking as a way to correct a behavior. To a young child though they see mom or dad spank or hit and they think well if they can do it, it must be okay for us too.

        The best thing would be if the parents can model the behavior they expect from their kids, especially young kids because that's how they learn.

        Reply

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