Do you find yourself constantly saying to your spouse how spoiled your kids are? I know I was guilty of this for a long time.
Then, I decided to do something about it and learn how to unspoil my child.
When your kids are used to getting everything they want, it can lead them to behave poorly until they get what they want. While it's easy to give in as parents, this is what sets our children up to be spoiled and entitled.
How to change the narrative
- Set rules and expectations
- Be consistent and follow through
- Start a chores system
- Talk with Grandparents
1.Set rules and expectations
It's never too late to start setting some new rules and expectations for your kids. Discuss them with your spouse and also your kids.
Also, make sure you discuss the consequences for when these rules are broken.
2.Be consistent and follow through
Once you discussed with your kids what you expect from them, you need to follow through if they don't listen. And they will test those limits in the beginning.
Your job is to stay strong and be consistent.
3.Start a chores system
Another idea for unspoiling your children is to start a chores system. Chores are great for teaching responsibility and that everyone in the family needs to be helping out.
Related: Age Appropriate Chores for Kids
Some parents even offer rewards for doing extra chores like extra screen time, or money.
4.Talk with Grandparents
Grandparents love to spoil, so it's also a good idea to talk with them and let them know you are working on such and such behavior like (asking before they take something) or (not listening when they are told to do something).
This helps foster a consistent environment of expectations. They won't think they can get away with the bad attitude when mom or dad is not around.
123 Magic Parenting technique
My three year old son started having some serious issues with listening and throwing a fit. After reading this book it helped me start being a better parent to him and he also started listening.
I now recommend it to every parent I know!
First off, make sure your child knows what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Second and most important is to follow through on the consequences for bad behavior. If you cave, they will learn they can push your boundaries over and over and eventually they can get what they want.
-Thinking they are above the rules, or consistency not following them.
-Feeling like they are entitled to things just because they want them.
These are the best ways to unspoil your child. While every child goes through a defiant phase, it's important you establish who is in charge.
Socjologia Spoleczenstwa says
Relying on your instinct is tough for most of us. It takes years to build confidence. Its not the sort of thing that simply just happens.
She's Your Friend says
I completely agree! It takes time to develop your confidence in parenting. One thing I have noticed though is that if you cave to your kids, they learn this and then they will continue to push their limits because they have seen you give in the past.